time for honest.

i have been trying to decide if i should really say how i feel. how silly is that? as if there is ever a choice in the matter? i am and have been okay with the diagnosis of lupus. because, really, it is just that, a diagnosis. the reality is, that i have been feeling the physical problems associated for a few years. and that is where my decision on whether to be honest fits in. i feel, currently, fair. today is the first day back down to ten mgs. of prednisone, and i can tell. my hip burns, my shoulder burns, and i am so tired that, at times it seems almost impossible to even move the muscles on my face. blinking wears me out. prior to now, i would just say, yep, i feel fine. but the truth is i don’t. and i am having to come to terms with the fact that not feeling physically strong, does not make me a weak person. having people constantly asking how i am doing makes me feel somehow inferior, and that is something i am going to have to get over. there is a lot i have to learn, and my lot is to learn. so i will. how am i you ask? i feel like crap, and that is okay.